My St. Patty's Day (I know it's late!)

Helloooo!!

I'm back in Cali from my much-needed mini vacay! It was pretty spectacular how things turned out this weekend. One thing I hate about vacations though is coming back to the "real world". I have work in the morning, ugh. So that means I have to get back into the mindset of work. It's not a horrible job, I actually enjoy it, but it boils down to it still being work. Honestly, if I could wake up and stroll in whenever I wanted, and take days off whenever I wanted, it would be the perfect job, and I would have absolutely no complaints!

I gained a lot of followers this weekend thanks to SITS, which is fantastic and I'm really excited! If you are from SITS, and you left a comment, I'm still working on my replies! :-P

Anyhoot! I kicked off my vacay on St. Patty's Day, and my friend CJ and I went to The Bar we always go to where we know the guys that work there and I usually see one or two other people I know.

Oh what a night! Okay so you know my guys at this bar and what the deal is. Well SP and Envy have another friend, we'll call him Fresh (again, it makes sense to me, don't you worry about it!). Well here's a quick recap of what's going on with them:

Then: SP and I almost dated last summer, but he found out I don't want to have sex and decideded he didn't actually want to go out with me. he didn't say that, but I'm pretty sure that was the deal.

Now: I call SP when I need a guy to talk to. I think he's still attracted to me, and would like to be with me if I were willing to give it up. Which I'm not, so we're at a bit of a stand still.

Then: I liked Envy, thought he liked me, there was definite attraction.

Now: Found out Envy has a GF. Still flirt, but won't do anything unless he ends up not with her anymore.

Then: Fresh didn't pay attention to me, thought he didn't like me. It was awkward cuz he's close friends with SP.

Now: Fresh has shown a lot of interest in me, unfortunately I only like him as a friend.

Keep in mind all three of these guys are friends...How's that a make for weird situations?!?

Anyways! St. Patty's night, we were dancing and having a great time. I'd had a few drinks, so I was feeling pretty good. Now, when I get tipsy, I get bold and friendly, not in a weird, skanky, or obnoxious way, but a fun way. I was walking by this table where these guys were standing, and there was space between two of them, so I walked up and rested on the table and started talking to them. Out of no where. A group of guys I didn't know. I kind of hit it off with one, so we were talking. Then I went back to find CJ and ended up bringing her back to the table with the guys I'd met.

The one I had been talking to got my BBM, and asked if I wanted to go hang out with them at his place. I wasn't gonna, but CJ wanted to hang out more, so she took my phone and arranged for us to go over there after. They lived in walking distance from the place, so we headed over.

We had fun. That's all I'll say for now! Problem is, I now kind of like the guy I was talking to. We'll call him Prince. Not cuz he's my prince or anything, but as in the musical artist Prince. I thought he was interested in me, but i haven't heard from him since that night.

I'm going to experiment and see if I treat a guy I am interested in the same as I do guys I'm not interested in, will he pursue me the same way guys I'm not interested in do. I have to try this on Prince because it's a fresh start. I don't know if I'll last though. I'm so used to being the pursuer when it comes to guys I'm interested in, which is totally backwards, I know. But that's what I'm used to.

I need to get bed now, I was gonna call this an early night (yeah right, like that'll ever happen!). I will write more about my vacay, hopefully tomorrow!

Got A Minute?

Oh my wow!

This is just about the firs time I've ha a moment and the drive to write a blog post. I hate that I can't write as much anymore. and I feel like it happened right as i was gaining steam in my writing! The problem is that before I was working part-time so i had a lot of free time! I got a full-time position now, and it's all day in front of the computer, so by the time I get home, I don't want to stare at the screen more! Blech. I need to get into a blogging routine, cuz I miss this, I really do.

oh there's been a lot going on in my life lately! I don't even know where to start!

Let's see, I ended my gym membership yesterday because I haven't had time, and I gave 24 Hour fitness about $120 for nothing the last 4 months. Grrr. Plus I have joined a soccer league and a social sports league! I would recommend looking up an adult social sports league in your area, they are so worth it! Great way to meet new people!

Still been going to that same bar, and you all would probably be very disappointed in me when it comes to SP...:-P

I was dating a few guys for a minute there as I think I mentioned before. I've hit my valley now though. Nothing on the horizon.

Oh, but I can you a little story about a secret admirer I had (have). Last week, I got this text message from someone. The name was in my phone, but I had no idea who it was, the name was not familiar. I thought maybe it was a guy I met a long time ago at a party or something. Anyway, the text says "You are a wonderful person, I wish I could be your man one day". Since the name didn't even ring a bell, I wasn't getting my hopes up. So I text back saying thank you, and asking who it was. They simply replied: "someone who thinks a lot of you". It was REALLY bugging me. So, I sat there racking my brain trying to figure out who this guy was.

OH.MY.GOD. It hit me like a horrible flash. IT WAS MY MECHANIC!!! FML. WHAT THE HELL?? He has a son in HIGH SCHOOL! Gawd!! I talk to him when I take my car in, but I though we were just being nice to each other!! I hate how life works. How come you can't just be nice when it comes to guys? How come the ones you're nice to but don't like end up liking you, but when you're nice to the ones you do like, they run away screaming?!? How the eff is that fair?!?!?

I'm so pissed about that! But fortunately, I had the best weekend EVER so despitethe rocky start, my weekend was amazing!

The highlight? My friend and I went karaoke-ing on Friday. We ended up getting a table right by the karaoke stage, and at one point they called up "Jimmy", I look and it's freaking JAMES MARSDEN! I was so smitten, he's sooo hot to me! Here are some pics I took with my phone:





Then after I finish freaking out over him singing (and quite well!) i look over and he's with the cast of Cougar Town! I LOVE that show! Courtney Cox and all the main guys from the show were there! It made sense cuz they film that show in the studio a couple of blocks away from where I live, which is also not far from this karaoke bar!

I sang I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) by The Proclaimers and I had people singing along with me and everything, it was fantastic! The rest of the weekend was crazy fun and random! I wish I had blogged about it when it happened:-P Maybe I'll back blog it one day for the posterity!

Also went to Vegas this weekend, which was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with some friends I don't hang out with nearly enough, and we had a blast! I'll have to post pics!

Thanks for stopping by! I'll try to get more on top of writing, responding and reading blogs!! Bear with me!

Almost Doesn't Count

Hey All,

It's been a whole week since I've blogged, I'm terrible I know.

Friday night I went with my friend Stephen and his friend Nyana to a Michael Jackson/Prince Tribute night. It was a lot of fun. They played a lot of old school music and of course MJ and Prince. It was soo hot but the dancing was beyond a good time. I didn't have to worry about some random guy coming up and trying to grind his way through my pelvis. That's what I love about old school music. You can just dance and have fun. No one was trying to be hot or sexy, no pressure to look good. Just dance and have fun!!

Don't get it twisted though, I can dance (i.e. "break someone off"), when necessary, but sometimes it's nice to just be free!

Saturday my mom, a friend of hers and I went up to our church's women's retreat. It was up in the mountains. Friday night I randomly started coming down with something, but went dancing anyways. And I was definitely sick in the mountains. I hate being sick, especially when it's hot, that's incredibly gross.

The rest of the week was mighty uneventful, until last night. (Warning, this is a long story!) I've been talking to this guy, we'll call him SP (not his initials, so don't even try to figure it out). He had asked for my number. I had noticed him before, the few times I had seen him and thought he was really attractive, so I gave him my number. I asked him if he was going to be one of those guys who asks for a number and then never uses it, he told me he would be gone for a few weeks, but he would text me while he was out of town.

About a week later I heard from him, yay!! We text for a couple of hours and things were looking up. He text me again a couple of nights later and then again after that. When he got back in town, he ended up inviting me to this bar where he was which is right around the corner from my job. So I headed over there. He was really nice, we hit it off, had fun. We sat in my car for a bit and talked and I drove him home (he doesn't live far and didn't drive himself to the bar, otherwise, he'd be on his own). During this time, it came out that I am not planning on having sex until I get married...He took this very seriously, which I appreciated.

Naturally the next day I wondered if I would hear from him, especially since now he knew I wasn't giving it up anytime soon. It took everything in me not to text him first. I was trying out the techniques of the book called You Lost Him At Hello. It's a good book, but it's really hard to put some of her suggestions into practice. We had hung out on Friday, I knew he wouldn't text me Saturday because he was having a birthday party that day, so Sunday rolls around and I'm gnawing at my fingers not to text him first. He eventually does text me and we talk some more.

He told me he was really thinking about the fact that I wasn't going to sleep with him and he didn't want to pressure me. I thought that was cool. I thought maybe he was going to turn out to be different from other guys. He sure was starting out the right way. Nice guy, respectful, and funny to boot. Very good start!

To make a long story slightly short, he hasn't been texting me the last few weeks. I have been the one texting him. So I guessed that he decided he wasn't interested in me. What do I expect, right? For me words speak louder than actions, so even though the way he was behaving pretty much told me what was going on, I needed to hear it. I hadn't talked to him for two weeks, and I text him to ask him what was going on. I ended up chickening out and we were just chatting like normal. It gets a little hard to explain here, but basically through the course of conversation he ended up telling me he wasn't interested in me. I was asking him questions about how he behaves towards girls he's interested in. Then he asked if I was interested in a boy.

Me: "Not anymore, but it's good to have insights" (I was thinking of him)
Him: What is his name and what did he do for you not to be?
Me: He just turned out to be the kind of guy I'm not interested in.
Him: Are you thinking about me and not telling me? (He's a smart cookie)
Me: You're funny, and yes I was talking about you
Him: That must make me a bad guy.
Me: No it's doesn't. I didn't say you were a bad guy

So, I kind of lied. I was still slightly interested, but if he wasn't interested in me there was no point in me telling him I was. I also realized I had never had a guy just tell me he wasn't interested. They always just stop talking to me or start acting weird. So I never really get closure. I thought maybe I was a weird, obsessive person, but when I realized he wasn't interested in me, I felt no need to pursue him whatsoever. It was very liberating. So I went to bed not feeling too bad, I mean I understand not wanting to have to go without sex, whatever.

So this morning, we were continuing our conversation from last night and I asked him when he decided he wasn't interested in me anymore and he said probably when this girl who he had been interested in whom he thought would never give him the time of day started showing some interest.


THERE IT IS!!

My world was shattered. Once again I was dropped for some other girl. It was completely different when it was just he wasn't interested. but it hurt far worse that he "found someone better". I HATE that. I don't understand why I can't be good enough. I had hoped with everything that he would be a different guy, he had all the potential to be. But in the end he's just like the rest of them. He's got the girl who hasn't given him a hint of chance and the girl who was nice and accessible. As soon as the first girl bats an eye, off he goes, dropping the girl whom he didn't have to jump through hoops for. I tried soooo hard to be the hard-to-get girl, but I'm so bad at that. I don't want to pretend that I don't like you or am not interested in you. I know it's necessary if I want to get a guy, but I really suck at it. I'm not good and hiding or disguising how I feel. I guess when I really get tired of being alone, I'll suck it up and be the bitch that is apparently necessary to be in order to get and keep a guy. I got really pissed and my texts were definitely showing it. We ended with "we'll be friends", but I'm still pissed. Not at him but at the situation. I'll give him credit, he stuck out the conversation. He's still a decent guy, I just hate that he didn't rise above.

The story is a lot more complicated and intricate than what I've posted but I tried to condense it for you.

Oh well, back to the dating board...