Blog Layout ADD

As you can see I have yet again changed the background and the heading for my blog. I can't seem to find one that I absolutely love for very long....What do you guys think of this one?

Happy Thursday!!

I don't much feel like Blogging today, but I'm gonna give you a link to Songs That Make Me Smile! **Warning: Some corny songs will be in there! But they make me smile! :-D)**

Can't Sleep!

Welp, it's 2:29 AM and I have to be at work at 5:00....I'm so boned!

I was lying in my bed with all of these things running around in my head, one of them having to do with my previous post, and a bunch of other things I have going on: trying to find a roommate, and this important opportunity that I have to interview for tomorrow. With all of these things going on, I was lying in bed with my eyes wide open.

I have to be getting ready to go in an hour and a half. I'm going to be sooo tired at work. I don't know how I'm going to survive tomorrow.

There are a couple of things going on in my life that I would like to share about, however none of them are for sures yet, and I have thins fear of jinxing myself if I talk about them too much. As a Christian I probably shouldn't be so superstitious, but I can't help it! :-P I feel like any time I have the possibility of a good thing and I tell anyone about it, it ends up not panning out (i.e. The guy that was almost my boyfriend. I had told anyone about him, and one day I was feeling happy about it, so I told my aunt, who was visiting, about him. He text me that night to say he was going back to his Ex).

As soon as things are settled and dust clears, and I have definite answers, you'll be the first (possibly second or third, depending:-)) to know!

My fam, my friend, and I saw District 9 tonight. We've been trying to see that movie all weekend! It was really good, and I'm glad I'm in the loop now. They were talking about it at work on Monday and I had to turn up my headphones cuz I didn't want to hear any spoilers. I hate spoilers. One of my biggest pet peeves is knowing the end of a movie I haven't seen, or when people just blurt out things that are going to happen. if you don't want to be my friend anymore, just tell me the ending of a movie we're watching. Done.

Well I'm going to attempt to close my eyes now. Thanks for stopping by!

How Do You Comfort Loneliness By Yourself?

Every once in awhile it hits me.

The Loneliness.

One would think I would be used to it by now, considering I have yet to be in a relationship, but that's not the case. I usually just try not to think about it but every once in while The Loneliness wins, and it's overwhelming thoughts.

What's wrong with me? Why am I not worth anyone's time or effort? Will I ever meet a guy that thinks I'm the greatest girl he's ever met?

Of course my friends and family all say "yes" with no hesitation. But that doesn't always seem so. I mean I'm 26 years old, how have I managed to stay single my entire life? When I start thinking about it, I boil it down to not being pretty enough because I haven't even gotten to the point where a guy even gave me enough of a chance to even consider being with me. It's ridiculous and extremely frustrating.

The only guy to even come close won't even be friends with me now. We had been hanging out, enjoying each others company, and then all of a sudden, he just stopped talking to me, then texts me and says he decided to go back to his ex-girlfriend. The one he had previously been telling me he didn't want to be with anymore and complaining about the stupid things she would do. He said it was for cultural/family reasons, yet now he won't even be friends with me. He treats me rather poorly actually, and you would think that would discourage me from having feelings for him. Well that was almost 4 years ago and I still feel like it happened last week. I still try every once in a while to get him to have a friendship with me which is über pathetic, and I know that, but I can't help it. i hang on to him because I don't have anyone else.

At this point it's pretty much all I think about, what it would be like to have a boyfriend. It's hard for anyone else to understand because no one else I know has gotten to the age of 26 without having an actual relationship.

I hate having a whiney blog post, but I had to let this out for now. Maybe I'll write more later...

New Phone & Apartment Hunting

So I finally got a new phone! My BB Pearl had been going crazy on me. I couldn't end calls and it would randomly turn off. After ComiCon I decided I had to get a new phone. I went with the BB Curve 8900 of course, since I had owned it for a couple of days when I lost my Pearl. It's such an awesome phone, I love the Blackberry OS, and the Curve just makes it even better! The screen is a good size, and I can watch videos!!

I've only had for about 4 days and I'm loving it. I'm sure there's still a lot more I can do with the phone, I just have to keep playing with it. I'm also addicted to BBM! It's so much better than texting. I also got a car charger and a case, so I don't have to drag around a charger and hopefully I won't be scratching it by dropping it with the cases I have. I'm hoping to keep this phone in good condition for a while!

Even the apps on the Curve are improved from the Pearl. I'm very impressed, bravo I say to Blackberry!! Here's a pic I took with my Curve:



Very colorful! (That's my Dad's office. He's been collecting toys from BK and McDonald's forever....)



Next order of business: Moving.

It's definitely time for me to move. I live at home with my family and it's starting to drive me crazy. Not necessarily my family themselves are driving me crazy, more of the fact that I don't have my own space. I'm sharing a room with two younger brothers. I'm dying for space! It's also hard to function as an independent adult when you live with your parents. My parents have never been the strict type though, I've never had a curfew or anything, and they're cool for the most part.

The only thing that is keeping me under their roof is the ridiculous cost of living in Los Angeles! IThe only thing keeping me in LA is the fact that I'm working on an acting career. If it weren't for that, I would have moved away from here long a go. But being an actress also means I can't have a career that pays well, which means I can't afford the ridiculous prices to live here! It's all a huge mess and it's stupid.

Unfortunately, at 18 I went credit card crazy, so I also don't know if I have the credit to move out. Blech. I'm tired of looking for a place to lvie and figuring out who to live wiht. My 23 year old brother wants to move out too, so were gonna find a place, but we can't seem to agree on price or location. I'm getting ver antsy and very frustrated. I'm ready to start my own adult life!! But I feel so trapped living here. Grrr. I don't know what to do!!